A year ago, tomorrow, the school psychologist, decided that she could test my 3rd grader. Yep, the day the kids came back from winter break, and just one day after new years.
We stay up until midnight, on New Year’s eve. My kid was tired on Jan 2, in school. Her psych test didn’t go well, because of it, and I totally disputed many of the “observations” in the report.
Luckily, the educational consultant had tested her earlier, in December, and had a complete, actual and accurate picture of my daughter.
BUT, the final answer wasn’t there…they just diagnosed her with a specific learning disability. For years, I had suspected that she was dyslexic.
Finally, in February, after taking her to an outside of the school source, she was tested, and accurately diagnosed with moderate to severe dyslexia. I am not a parent who wants to lable my kids, but, to me, that diagnosis, was concrete evidence of how we are to attack her education, FOREVER. Her way of learning, reading and understanding are totally different. Her needs are so different from her peers. Her consistency in school is poor.
She is finding school easier. But, unfortunately, her grades cannot show that.
Since she is a full year behind in reading level, she must be graded, accordingly, so, she gets a 2 out of 4, meaning, does not meet grade level expectations. Even though she tries. Do you remember how excited you were, when you came home with a report card, and your grades were good. Imagine, coming home, failing reading and math…because your reading comprehension holds you back. And, despite all your efforts, all the extra help from your teachers, and your parents, you are still failing, and your grades don’t do your total intelligence justice. Would you willingly and happily hand your parent that report card?
Amy, handed me her report card, very reluctantly, a few weeks ago. She knew that the grades were not good. She felt horrible. This is the first time, that she actually got it, got how the grades are reflective of her performance (but, not of her knowledge). How she was so disappointed. She probably works harder than 99% of her her peers, for what? To FAIL…because, at our school, no matter what your IEP says, you are still graded according to STANDARDS…to children who can learn EASILY, who do not have a learning disability.
We are only in 4th grade. Next year, she is going to be changing classes more often. How can I cocoon her, into a safe learning envirionment, if she has different teachers, who cannot get to know her as well as her current teachers. What is going to happen in Junior and Senior High?
I am going to research colleges, starting now. Find those that open their arms, and their knowledge to students who have dyslexia. Those that understand that these students are very bright, and can learn in thier own special ways.
Why do I have to go through this, as a parent? Learning was always easy for me. It just isn’t fair, is it? Why should my almost 10 year old, have to learn these life lessons, so young. Remember how hard it is to be different in some way from your peers, especially in 4th grade? and 5th grade? and junior and senior high school?
My hands are tied. She will never be on reading level, and will never get a grade reflective of the true learning that she has demonstrated. Why can’t the stupid school test her against herself? It is totally irresponsible of them to bring a students grades down, just so that they can compare them to the NORMAL student…the one who has been reading fluently since kindergarten…the one who knew their alphabet in preschool. the one who was able to get their addition/subtraction/multiplication facts down pat on the first try- not the 100th or millionth. I wish we had an alternative for her, that we could send her to, now. The closest school is 2 hours away, and I cannot send her there to room and board. She is my child, who needs her parents, daily, not on weekend visitations.
Meanwhile, her sister who is in kindergarten, is reading way above and beyond where Amy started in First grade…
How can I be so happy for my kindergartner, who can read, easily, when, my fourth grader, who finally can read independently (just in the past year) continues to struggle daily, with her reading. How can I be happy for my kindergartner, who can write as well as my 4th grader wrote (as in spelling phonemically) in the 3rd grade?
I ask these questions daily of both my K- and 4th graders teachers. Who are both wonderful resources. The kindergarten teacher, has the very same struggles with her one child, who is also struggling with reading…and Amy’s special ed teacher sees both my girls on a regular basis outside of school, and knows (I think) how upsetting this is to me, as a parent.
When my kindergartner brought home her perfect report card, I couldn’t be excited around Amy…I don’t want her to feel badly. She did bring home a wonderful, for her, report card. Her grades for effort, and all the little sub sections in math and reading, were very good. It is just that final, total grade…Ugh!
I think that I am going to start out the new year, for Amy, by requesting that the school counselor (who has always had her back) talk to her, and see how she really is doing, social emotionally. She may hide her feelings, from us, to protect us. Maybe if someone, who is there for HER and her feelings, someone to talk to, to get throught the rough patches, can help her build her confidence…then, maybe she will not give up fighting this struggle, this battle she has been handed.
I also plan on setting up a team meeting, to discuss her IEP, and the classroom accomodations, that I don’t think are working as well as they could. I want her to have more one on one time in reading and math and spelling. That is how she learns…she is a poor group learner.
I am starting 2009 fighting, just as I started out 2008. I hope that one New Years, I can wake up, and be at peace with my daughters education. That I can send her to school, and know that she is comfortable, and learning and not struggling. And, that I don’t look like super b**** when I walk into that child study team office. I am not happy with her education, right now. I don’t think her IEP is supporting her. I love her teachers, but, they can only do so much. I want her to have more one on one….I want her to get more help… I want her to succeed…
